Wow! This story is sooo funny.
PECANS IN THE CEMETERY
On the outskirts of a small town years ago, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two brothers in need of some cash filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts which they would later sell.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said the brother that was dividing them. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
A boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. "Oh my", he shuddered, "It's Satan and the Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery." He jumped back on his bike and rode off.
Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along, "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord himself." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the boy on the bike.